Still growing

So...

Apparently forgiveness is a daily practice.

Who knew?

Question is, how many times can a friend hurt you before they realize...or care...that they are? And how long does it take for a friend to stop acting like a jerk? And how long does it take before a good friendship is ruined?

And how long will it take before I stop crying?

But I read in proverbs today that we should "never abandon a friend." And I also read in Psalms that "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and rescues the crushed in spirit."

This is where I'm at. Totally confused, and hurt, and confused, and hurt, and leaving NZ in less than a week...wondering if this will be resolved before then.

Prayer please.

Forgiveness and the growth of Cara

SO...the V8 car races are over. I won't get into it much. Cars were fast and loud. Fun, then not so much. Serving at church was real good. God worked in the midst of a whole lotta darkness. Read Tiana's blog for more info of how that worked.

Right now I'm learning about forgiveness. This weekend was real good and real bad and a friend screwed up big time. The world tells me that who cares if they are sinning about such in such, it's no big deal. My flesh is saying hate them and avoid them - 3 strikes and they're out. But God, he's saying - forgiveness. We are all human and struggle with sin. This friend fell this weekend. But God forgives him. And in my attitude about his sin, I fell this weekend- and maybe more so yesterday morning when I was heartbroken to see a good friend doing the very thing that pierces down to my very core.

Lust. Guys have it so hard in this world when it comes to that, and it seems that many of us women only encourage it in the way we dress and act and...yeah.

I was prepared to end a relationship over this person's struggle. Isn't that just like people? Just like the kinda Christians I can't stand who, when someone falls, shuns them and kicks them while they're down. God doesn't call us to be that way. God hates sin more than I do, yet he loves people and he helps them through their struggles. He's done this in my life so so SO many times. God calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven...and I have been forgiven much. I need to forgive and come alongside this friend with love, and help him through this struggle, and call him out when he needs to know how his "seemingly innocent" actions can offend his sisters in Christ. Sometimes people just need this to know that they are being wrong.

If I really care about him as a valued friend, I won't just ignore this, and walk away. Fly back to America and pretend that this person hasn't impacted every part of my life, and just drop it there- never to speak to him again. How harsh unforgiving would that be? How un-Christlike would that be? You don't sin in response to sin.

I would hope a friend would care enough about me to call me out when I'm in the wrong too.
And my sister has.


See? See how God is growing me every single moment of my life!

From the Desk of Cara at A.C.C.

Yes, I'm writing from A.C.C. It's been a slow day today so, yea-ya!!

So, today is my last day at work. Am I excited? You betcha! But it's kind of a bitter sweet leaving. I'm not much of an "office" person, nor do I like to talk on the phone all day. My throat gets tired of talking. And why do you have to dress up at a call center? You're just talking on the phone!

But this also marks the very nearness of my time in New Zealand ending.

I don't wanna go back to America. I miss it terribly, but there's so much I'm involved with in New Zealand, and so many new friends that I've really connected with, and such an awesome church that I am so involved in, and it's so beautiful and sunny and green and yeah. But I miss my friends at home. And I miss my family. And I miss people from my church at home. And I miss lots of things. But it's going to be so different when I go home. Living in another country always means that you'll go through some kind of culture shock when you return home. Not looking forward to that.

These past few weeks we've really been hanging out with people constantly and it just makes it harder to go. And some people I'm going to really miss...not sure how I will cope..some very dear friends that I won't be seeing anymore. Can I convince everyone to get video skype?


When I go home, my plan is to save up for coming back to New Zealand in January, and I really mean to. But I have bills at home to pay, debts to pay off, an art career to fully begin. And life without New Zealand is no life at all, right.

I'm not looking forward to being bombarded with questions about how my experience was in New Zealand. How can I sum it up? It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was amazing! God has grown me soooooo much. Will I seem different to others at home?

Because of the whole culture shock thing, I probably won't see most people until June. It'll give me some time to re-adjust to America. The first two weeks of May we'll be staying in South Carolina and visiting my brother and sister-in-law and my little nephew whom I haven't seen yet. After that we'll go back to Cleveland and meet up with some friends from New Zealand that have been travelling in a RV around America. Fun times. Then, I'll be over my shock and jet lag and can talk to everyone more normal-like.


Tiana and I moved all of our furniture out of our flat last night! We have such amazing friends who are so willing. We had to drop stuff off at three different houses and we began at 8:15pm, so it was fun. But it took us till about 10:30pm so that's not so bad. Our Life group leaders are going to throw a Goodbye Barbecue for us May 1st, so I guess we're staying until May 3rd. Haha I'll take it! It's so sad how empty our flat is, but it's funny because we didn't have a ton of stuff. Today after work, we're going to take the bus down to the Korean restaurant and have an early dinner (cause last night we didn't plan dinner and ended up having canned cream rice) and then we're going to go to the Warehouse and get a few cleaning materials, and go home and get to it. Hopefully we can clean most of the flat today and only have a little bit of the bathroom to worry about tomorrow.

Tomorrow marks the first day of the V8 races. I'm so excited. Me and Tiana have tickets!!! We got them discounted too. I'm not a huge fan of car races, but I saw the movie Cars, and I know they go fast. I played the video games. I'm heaps excited!!!! They built the whole racecourse circuit right near where we live. Our church is on the inside of the track, so we're serving the community and running a cafe. Today was the big Powhiti (Welcome) with the Maori King and there was some cancellations of the caterers last night so I know people at church were a little stressed. How do you cancel on the Maori King? This is like huge! The prime minister is supposed to be there too as well, to usher in the first of many V8 races in Hamilton for the years to come. NZ is definitely different from America. I'm so excited to help on Sat and Sun and just be real servants. God has opened up a tremendous opportunity!

As of Today

I only have a few weeks left in New Zealand, and I am devistated. But I'll be fine. I miss America too. Kind of.

This week God laid it on my heart to do a prayer walk around the track that is for the V8 races here in Hamilton. Yes ladies and gents, we will be hosting a huge race car race around our city next weekend. Fun times.

It was such a good time of prayer with a few people from church. 36,000 extra people from all over the world will be in our city for this. Our church sits right inside the track, so we will be serving the community for this event and hosting something with the Maori king. I suppose the prime minister will be there too. It's such a good opportunity to reach these people who may not usually be crossing paths with us. What a great opportunity to be like Jesus to them! It's exciting, but can be very stressful. I won't get into now, but there's a lot to pray for with this.

It was so good. Talking with God is soooo good.

Tonight, I'll be going to Nightglow at University of Waikato. This past week has been Balloons over Waikato - hot air balloons. We saw them launch as were waiting for our bus at the bus stop every morning. There's some cool shapes too. One of the ballons was a Darth Vador head. Haha!!! Anyways, tonight is like the final festivities and there's music, and the balloons will be on the ground with lights shining on them, and there will be fireworks. All in all, it sounds quite cool. I'll take some pictures and put the in the next post.

But right now, I need to do some art!

Fun times in the last few weeks...

Touch Rugby Tournament - I cheered our team on

Stations of the Cross Art Installations at the Hamilton Gardens with friends. Sokun took this picture, but we never got one with her in it. Awesome artpieces!

Easter Weekend - We bought Callalillies

Easter Service was amazing!

Easter Weekend - borrowed a car and went to Mt. Maungatautari. Not much of a mount, but we were straight up in the country. We've missed it these last few months without a car.

Easter Weekend - Hamilton Gardens in the daytime- Lovely -This is the Italian Garden

Easter - Waihi Beach - Keeping with our holiday tradition of going to the beach

Last Weekend we went with friends to see a rugby game and hang out. Chiefs (our team) won, randomly ended up seeing part of the Hamilton Gospel choir at the Salvation Army on our way to dinner, and ate some delicious Indian food. But I didn't have a camera!!

I'm gonna miss New Zealand and hanging out with my kiwi (and Canadian) mates.



Until next time...

Yeah yeah yeah...no

It's not everyday that you get a ride home from two former Olympic BMX racers who are quite interested in "misplacing" orange cones in your empty parking space for kicks.
Oh the laughs.

Last week was a rough week. But it forced me to talk to God rather constantly. Nothing wrong with that. Lots of questions. Lots of "wait" answers. Hmm...

This will be better only because of the grace of God and his teaching me how to pray. This week is a week for focusing on other peoples prayer needs and less on myself and my wants and me me me. Other people are hurting and although I need this constant prayer time with God, I can use it to pray for others too...more than I have been. SO.....

I'll be praying "BIG" this week.

And I will still be praying about the other, rather intense, situation of last week and this week and for however long it needs prayer for.... but not from my view of it, but for the, ah... other...um...yeah.


Oh, and I love my kiwi church very, very much.
Why must I go back to America again?

To sum up my week....

(These) Lonely Places

by Cara

Feels like
Shadows
Closing in
On me

Heartbreak
I've played the game
Now shadows
Are creeping

So many times
In different places
So many times
On me


Shadows why do you seek me?
Why are you following through my room?
Where am I supposed to run to
If you are always waiting there too?

"Shadows!", love screams:
"Leave me, in some peace!"
"Shadows, go away
And, give me some release!"


Feels like
Shadows
Closing in
On me

Heartbreak
I've played the game
Now shadows
Are creeping

So many times
In different places
So many times
On me

Slightly delayed -- apologies

Uh oh.

It's been awhile.

That's how you know I really have a job.

I work at a call center for ACC - New Zealand's nationwide health insurance - unique only to NZ
In other words, I work for the government.

I have a headset, two computer screens, a corner of a make-shift cubicle decorated with as much fabric, art, and quotes that I can fit on two small square bulletin boards. Hmm. I try.

I'm surviving. It's not half bad. It 'ain't have good neither', but it'll do. Hehe.

I'll get into it more later. Right now, I'm getting over a bad cold and I need to take a nap.





I miss Mexican restaurants.
And I hope mom is recovering okay from surgery.

Late-Breaking News

This just in...

...Cara gets a job.

:)

On to the next prayer request:

To have a car, or not to have a car. That is the question.

What can I say?

SO...

How do I follow a post like that?

I obviously was upset. I still am, I suppose. But I keep having my many intense conversations with God and letting Him give me peace.

Okay, so I'm broke, in debt, and unsure about my future? So what?

It's not the end of the world.

Meanwhile, I'm turning out some sweet-as art...

Y'know, sweet-as-sugar. Good-as-gold. I'm gonna get into trouble using Kiwi slang when I go back home.

A Vent to beat all Vents

New Zealand temp agencies are the most unprofessional and unreliable wastes of time in the history of my experience! I have never seen such lack of care or responsibility in all of my cognitive life.

A word to the masses...

If you plan to do a working holiday in New Zealand, save up all the money you will need for the whole time you're here. That way you don't have to be bothered in dealing with any sort of job here. It'd be a real stress-saver.

Meanwhile, Tiana's lovely job that she's been working for over a week, and her temp agency, so kindly told her that they can't pay her this week because they didn't collect her bank details in time (an no one asked her for them in all this time), and she finally inquired about it before this Thursdays pay date, only to find that it's too late. Now we can't pay rent or buy groceries this week. And there's no credit card to the rescue because we're both almost on $0 and can't even pay our bills.


There comes a breaking point when enough is enough.

And I've just reached it.






I can't wait to go home.

Title: I can't think of one. Ha!

Since the last entry was rather morose, I decided I'd begin this blog with three random
things I enjoy.

1) Eating Dal (exotically flavored lentils) and Indian curry rice is one of my favorite things
ever. Today.

2) Cheese and crackers is very important in my life. Camembert, Brie, Edam, etc. All good. All yum.

3) Eating a salad with leaf lettuce, capsicum (green or red bell pepper), ripe, sliced avocado, onion, and cubed feta cheese all topped with a sprinkle of balsamic vinegar is absolutely lovely. Sometimes if I used marinated feta cheese, I don't need any dressing. My, how my tastes have changed. Three months ago I hated most salads (except for those at Aladdin's Eatery). Thanks to a Canadian, an American, and a Kiwi (all living in New Zealand), I now love salads with these toppings together, and even some others. I eat a salad regularly now. Like, a few times a week. Ha! Crazy World!

Being constantly broke has meant that I eat healthier. In New Zealand, fresh fruits and
fresh veggies are a lot cheaper than America. Go figure.


Parachute Music Festival was AMAZING! We got to see some great NZ bands (Lieutenant Funk, Radiator, Spacifix, Calling Elijah) and American bands (Switchfoot, Jonezetta, Red). Fun times! We even walked through a WorldVision tent that documented the true stories of three young children living in Africa in poverty and the threat of A.I.D.S. Each person going through the tent gets a mp3 audio story of one of the kids and follows their lives and whether or not they get A.I.D.S. and how they were helped. Very powerful and very eye opening.

Lieutenant Funk

Radiator

Red

Jonezetta

Calling Elijah

Our pastor took us with his family on a Saturday Evening. The festival was four days long. We couldn't afford to go even though we had been looking forward to it for months, and then out of the blue, Campbell said he was taking us with his family. There was massive amounts of excitement going on in our flat! We had already circled the bands we wanted to see on Saturday, way back in November, so we were already set. We couldn't see Rapture Ruckus (I'm sad), or our friends in the Holy Rollers, but we've seen them a lot so we're good. Maybe we can catch Rapture Ruckus before we leave. Who knows.

Tiana and Campbell's family looking down at Parachute

Life FM - Live from Parachute. I think Jase was in there.

They said no crowd surfing, but they instituted this little contest...

In other news...

We had a close call last week. A serious decision. We almost had to make the decision to leave Hamilton cause we're running low on cash, and we weren't hearing from temp agencies, We had no clear direction from God about if we should move to the South Island and work on a fruit farm to save up money to go home or try to wait it out in Hamilton, hoping for a temp agency to call. Either way, God is good.
And he apparently wants us to stay in Hamilton.
Tiana got a job. At a call center through a temp agency that should last the rest of our time here.
Amazing.

Prayer and more prayer.

I suppose I'm growing.

Hmm...
I still need a job.

I called one of the agencies, today, just to check up on things and I was sternly and promptly brushed off. I was told by...um... let's call her 'Natalie', that, yes, she had received my CV (I didn't ask) and it was on file blah blah blah, but that there are just other people that are way more important to deal with and take priority over anyone new blah blah blah, and that she's busy blah blah blah so basically, stop calling and asking for an interview and maybe she'll get back to me if she has the time or care. The ol' "don't call us, we'll call you" speech in a rather rude and unprofessional delivery.

Typical.

I could have easily lost it on the phone. My temper is a struggle everyday, but I remained professional and calm. And wondered why they advertise that they have tons of temp jobs available and need new people everyday, and yet it took me 4 weeks to actually get a hold of 'Natalie" who deals with the temp work and realized that she was well aware of who I was and just really could care less about me.

I sent 3 separate emails with my CV (Resume) because I didn't hear back from 'Natalie' after the first and was told from my sister who got a prompt interview with her, that she didn't receive it, so I tried again. Still no word, so I tried from another email address and gave specific instructions to be emailed back when the email was received. I got a prompt answer back and was told I would get a phone call in a couple of days. One week later I call, and leave a message with a secretary for 'Natalie' to call me back. That was about 5 days ago. I call again today and am finally put through, only to be mildly insulted.

Ha. Well. Humans are humans all over the world. What can I do?


Temp agencies in New Zealand. I highly recommend. Really. If you have all the time in the world, perhaps they'll get back to you...
...in a few months
....or years.
And if you're an artist...well...
Don't hold your breath.

My Chaos

Big decisions need to be made by tomorrow.

Oh joy...

...not so much.

A Storm's A Brewin'

I know I should be worried, but right now I'm just not. I can't explain it. I feel like the disciples on the boat with Jesus, and while he was asleep, a great storm came and the disciples feared for their very lives.

There is a storm going on all around me. No money. No Job. No direction. And some days I freak out like the disciples and cry out to God: "Master! Master! I'm going to drown!", hanging on for dear life. And other days, like today, I'm just kinda here. I don't feel peaceful. But I know that it's out of my control. I can't force people to hire me. I can't force money to fall into my lap. I can't force anything. God knows what's going on. He is not asleep. He knows.

"Where is your faith?"
Luke 8:25a

30 things I miss about home

Tiana and I were sitting on the couch discussing things that we missed about home, so I decided to write them down.


1)Aladdins Eatery- I could really go for a chicken chili with feta and Cheddar, chicken mishwi salad, or kafta plate

2)Chipotle (or Mexican food in General)- Chicken burrito, umm umm good, or any number of other Mexican foods that I miss so much

3)Teresa's Pizza, Rascal House, Papa Johns (or any pizza place) - Buffalo wings, Large and X-Large pizzas (that are actually large) with tons of cheese and toppings and cheezy bread

4)Fridays & Applebees - good food at a lower prices, great atmosphere, i miss i miss!

5)Olive Garden, Macaroni Grill - Calamari, the real kind and yummy Italian food!

6)Coldstone Creamery - because it's just genius. Ice cream hand mixed with cake and brownie and other goodness. You can't lose.

7)Egg Nog-There's none to be found here

8)Hunan East, Lee Wah's, and even Amazing Wok Chinese Food - cause Chinese food in NZ is just gross.

9)Bombay Sitar - the best Indian food that I've ever had

10)Grums- The best subs. Ever. Jimmy Johns is pretty good too.

11)Wings and fried chicken places. KFC, Popeyes, Mr. Chicken, BW3's, Whitmores... Nuff Said.

12)Birthday Cakes. Cream cheese icing or normal butter cream icing. Yum...NOT Sponge cake like here in NZ! Yuck!

13)Yellow Cheddar cheese, and monteray jack, colby, peper jack, etc cheeses that don't exist here.

14)A & W cream soda and root beer, for floats and overall goodness.

15) Canada Dry Ginger Ale, and Clearly Canadian flavored water.

16)Ice Cream sandwiches

17)Starbucks on every corner, seriously

18)Bookstores- Barnes and Noble, Borders, with a cafe inside

19)Movie Theaters and $1 movies - I never knew how good we had it until I paid $15nzd here.

20)I miss my DVD player and Record exchange discount movies, and Region 1 films

21)Libraries where you can rent movies and books and music for FREE

22)Apartments that automatically come with refrigerators and washing and drying machines/facilities, and heaters

23)Current seasons of TV shows- I sick of being 6 months behind America, not that I watched much TV at home

24)Unlimited Broadband

25)Free Mobile to Mobile calling and free nights and weekends--oh, and being able to use my cell phone

26)Driving on the right side of the road, and the wheel being on the left side of the car

27)My art pieces and my easel

28)My Nintendo 64

29)My Keyboard

30)My Bed- so soft and comfortable


So yeah. There's a lot I miss about home. There's tons more I can add. However, when I go home, they'll be a lot I'll miss about New Zealand too. Go figure.

Freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finished working at The Warehouse yesterday. I am extremely happy. I, well...um...hated it. Completely. There is nothing that I can think of that I will miss...except, perhaps, the paycheck, though since I only worked Saturdays and some Wednesdays, there isn't much of a paycheck to miss.

I don't get it. People were annoyed when I said that I didn't like my job, but they're the ones who asked me how I liked it. What was I supposed to do, lie? I was thankful for having a job, but c'mon! As if I was supposed to LOVE standing on my feet for 9 hours with one half hour lunch, and 2 unevenly spaced and sometimes forgotten 15 minute breaks! As if I'm supposed to love the monotonous job of scanning item after item and dealing with crabby customer after crabby customer and the questions of "Where are you from?," "Do you like America or New Zealand better?", and, "Are you staying forever?" about every 5 mins, which, I must say, after being here for 8 months, gets kinda old. And my "supervisors" who, if I so much as breathed an extra breath, tell me to "get back to work" or "look busy" no matter if the customer I was serving just left .000000001 seconds ago, or if I'm trying to help a lost child get to someone with an intercom..a.k.a. one of the supervisors. Ha!

People try to tell me that my job isn't that bad. Well, it ain't that good either. It just means that the person who's telling me this has a higher enjoyment for this kind of work. Or that working at the Warehouse is 1mm up from worse work. Or it probably also means that they're not working the job that I am so it's all talk. Hmm...

I've come to realize that I don't like working in retail. It's not particular stores, or stores in a particular country, it's just the retail. In fact, I don't like retail or office jobs. I like art. I want to do art. Is that so hard to understand? My mind isn't mentally stimulated in retail work, and most office work is incredibly dull to me. I'm an artist!! Too much time spent on the left side of the brain could easily kill me! But I figure, in choosing between finding another retail job, and doing temp work in an office--they're both horrible, but temp work tends to pay more. So temping, here I go.


I'm broke. Under $100 left on my credit card, barely any money in the bank, and bill after bill due. I'm up a creek. Whatever that means. Anyway...prayer please.


But God is still good.

Christmas in the Sun

Christmas was amazing in New Zealand. More laid back, yet more busy, yet less busy-ness. It's definately more laid back here and many people seem like they aren't so concerned with huge fancy meals and perfect decorations, etc, etc. Just having fun! And since it's summer, I think people are more active.

Hmm...

I suppose I should start with this past Sunday.

Sunday

Church--great message through the use of 3 short skits that Tiana wrote depicting different types of situations people may be in at Christmas: The first depicted a newlywed couple/grieving couple celebrating their first Christmas away from family and coping with being alone without all of their family and traditions. The second depicted a wealthy couple only interested in expensive gifts from others. The third depicted a poorer family who spent too much money on gifts that they didn't have and this led to arguements. Campbell used these examples to deliver an awesome message! It was great with a keen Kiwi flare.

That night Tiana and I went to a friends' birthday BBQ out in the country which = fun times and great conversations. Good on ya!

Monday- Christmas Eve

Lunch and Movies at Chris and Janine's (our Bible Study leaders) house with their kids. Their house and surrounding land is absolutely beautiful! Then we chilled at home and baked cookies, ate Korean food, and watched tv Christmas Specials . Yay!

Tuesday - Christmas Day

We drove to Waihi Beach on the East coast (S. Pacific Ocean) and opened gifts, Barbequed, and relaxed in the sun while everywhere else had rain.

Then we came back to Hamilton for Christmas Tea (dinner) at Chris and Janine's parents house. Another BBQ! It was so much fun!!!We even got gifts! We played games with their kids and just relaxed. We ended up leaving very late.

Wednesday - Boxing Day

Tiana and I decided to make our Christmas dinner (Turkey and all the fix-ins) since it was actually Christmas for America. (Time change, NZ is 18 hours ahead of Ohio)

Then we went over another friend's house for a BBQ and games, and a campfire, and fun!!

So you see, even through we were so far from home and family and missed them very much, we were able to have a great time with newer friends and our church family. I have to admit...I miss the snow and holiday feel of America, but I definately can dig this more laid back Kiwi style of doing things. And the beaches and BBQ's...very nice!

And for your viewing enjoyment, here are some pictures!

This is from the Christmas Parade we saw a few weeks ago where Santa said "HAHA HAAAA! Happy Christmas" and it was hilarious!

These snowman looked very sad. Maye they were melting in the heat and rain.

Nothing says "Christmas" like the Simpsons? Hmm...

Tiana and I watching our friends, "The Holy Rollers" at the Yellow Submerine. Fun times!

Beautiful New Zealand Country at Chris and Janine's House.

Good times with friends at the beach one Sunday afternoon!

Making Christmas cookies with Tiffany. Sugar, Gingerbread, and Shortbread.

Our Christmas Tree before we put Candy Canes on it. There are lights on it too, but they are so dim!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!

Oh No! Not Tony Again...

Is it actually possible that this guy is following me around? Seriously! I don't really like this guy. And yet he has ended up everywhere I go. Jubilee Conference. Malone College. Lancaster, Pennsylvania when I was randomly flipping through tv stations and I found him on CNN. And now in New Zealand at the Parachute Music Festival in January 2008. Why?!!


Tony Campolo.

Why?

Actually, he's not a horrible guy, it's just ...some things that are unbiblical that he goes around saying. Sometimes he has some good points, sometimes he doesn't. It's hit or miss, but him in New Zealand???? This is a bit far from his normal comings and goings.

Arrrggghhhhh!!!! When will it end? =P

That's all. =)

Arrrggghhhh! and FYI #9 Summertime

I was really missing home again today. It's crazy, but when I really thought about it, I realized that I've been here in New Zealand for 7 1/2 months! I'm adjusted here, and I like the December summer, but it doesn't beat family, and Cleveland's snow storms, and lots of Christmas lights, and eggnog, and baking cookies without having to worry about humidity, and New Years Parties with friends. Though I must admit that having a picnic at the Hamilton Gardens with friends after church was nice. Strawberries in December! Go figure. Baking cookies was also good, though it was so warm that we had to keep sticking the cookie dough in the fridge so we could cut the shapes out. The butter in the dough must have kept melting or something. And ordering Korean food was great!!! Overall, my SUnday with friends was just what I needed.

Arrrgghhhh!!!

I'm both comfortable here in New Zealand and in America!! People keep asking me if I'll stay. And others are asking when I'll come home. I don't know! If I can't find a job soon, I'll be coming home sooner, though I don't forsee that right now. Otherwise, my visa expires in 4 1/2 months. So...yeah. Life without New Zealand...Life without America...Why must I choose?


FYI #9 Summertime

Summertime in New Zealand is December thru February. This means beaches, BBQ's, sunny skies, warmth, strawberries, picnics, flowers, fishing, cricket, touch rugby, walks, and summer fun during the Holidays.

Just thought you should know.

Jigga what?

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. A lot has happened. What can I say? I miss home and the familiar terribly. I miss friends and family, especially during this holiday season...and here it's summer, so it makes this holiday season somehow unauthentic, though I know this is a normal occurrence in the southern hemisphere. It's just that most of the world is in Winter. And boy do I miss those snow cold days in Ohio, where the blue sky is hidden behind a grey curtain of cloud and weeps it's snow upon the expectant northerners.

To be home... decorating the Christmas tree, drinking Swiss Miss hot chocolate with normal marshmallows. Christmas cookies. Sledding. Christmas concerts and plays. Christmas lights on houses. Barnes & Noble Booksellers and falling in love with books all over again. Christmas specials on TV. American Chinese food for Christmas Eve. Family...

But no, I'm on my own in the harsh world of "adultness" and "life." Well...maybe not on my own since my sis is here too, but you get my point.

What's up?

About four weeks ago I had to choose between a job at "The Warehouse"(like walmart) and a job at "Pumpkin Patch Kids." It was a hard choice. I hadn't had an official offer from Pumpkin Patch when the Warehouse called, so I took the position there. The next day Pumpkin Patch calls, and I turn down the job since I already was offered the other one. I was also under the impression that I would have the opportunity to work the rest of my time in NZ at The Warehouse, so it seemed cool. But I should've known better. I was offered two days a week at Warehouse with one of the days being late at night, with the knowledge that I could add more hours when I went in. At Pumpkin Patch I was offered 3 days a week in Nov, then 5 days a week in Dec-Feb. Why did I choose the Warehouse? I have no idea.

When I interviewed at The Warehouse, I told them I may not have a car since we're borrowing a car from someone, so night shifts wouldn't be good. Of course they didn't listen and scheduled me for a late night. It was okay since I still had a car. Until now. We have to give our car back this week, so I am unable to work one of my days since I can only go by the bus schedule. I tried to talk to the managers about switching hours/ and adding hours but they said that their daytime hours were full and they actually have too many workers that they hired. But they said they can call me if people cancelled. However, I was called up to the office today because they said that I wasn't on the roster to work. I told them that I was filling in for a girl who needed someone to work for her. They said that it wasn't authorized and they didn't know of anyone who asked to have someone work for them, so they told me to go home. But the girl I was working for had told this manager that she couldn't come in and the manager told her to find someone to work for her because they didn't feel it was their job to call people. Wait. So...the girl, who is also new to working at The Warehouse, did exactly what they said, and they conveniently forgot, even though it's the manager's job to find a person as was told to me today. Typical.. So, I went home, after working just 3.5 hours. Of course I wondered why it took them so long to tell me that I had to leave. Hmm... Needless to say, I was pretty upset coming home. I had been looking for a second job the past few weeks and it's almost impossible to find a job now that doesn't require me to work on a Saturday. So, as of today.,I've been applying for jobs and saying that I am available Mon-Sat, and when I get another job, I'll have to quit The Warehouse.

I really don't like switching jobs so much, but I have bills to pay...which I don't have enough money to pay right now. And to top it off, I had a person who wanted to buy an artpiece from me for $110NZD and then I called to asked her when she wanted me to bring it to me and she seemed confused, and then she kinda remembered and said that she changed her mind.

Is this to be my life? Seriously...a starving artist who doesn't even have enough money to send Christmas gifts home that she bought months ago? Who has to pick and choose who she sends Christmas cards to? Whose credit card is alarmingly close to being maxed out? Whose hope of finding a job dwindles day by day as the temp agencies tell her their going on holiday and won't be open again until January and other jobs are weary of hiring someone who will be going home in 5 months. It's quite depressing. And I'm angry and very emotional. But I will not turn my back on God. I refuse to. He's all I have and he knows my needs. And he cares about me (1 Peter 5:7, Matt 6:25-34). He brought me here to this country of high price and few jobs. He will provide.

I could really use your prayers too.