More Than I Am

I want to be more than I am.

In that I mean I want to be more than a person who only half cares about most things; who depends on her own strength then wonders why she falls flat on her face. I want to be a person of unbelievable faith, trusting God with every aspect of my life. With EVERY aspect. I want to be a Christian who is real and honest, open and bold, sensitive and excited, and not caught up in living to look spiritual and/or living to receive approval from everyone else. I want to be in tune to what God is telling me through the Holy Spirit.

I want to be a friend who listens attentively...slow to speak or interrupt, but completely engaged in another's life. I don't want to sit there wondering what they think of me or if they know my weaknesses, and also not afraid to share what insight that God has given me. I want to take the risk of opening my heart to others, to be ready to make authentic friendships, and also willing to be disappointed. I want to stop putting expectations on others. I want to be a person who cares about those around who are hurting and in need. Translated, that means caring about everyone and thinking less about myself. I want to be an open-handed giver of time, stuff, funds, and love/compassion.

I want to be an artist who isn't afraid to do art, a musician who isn't afraid to write music and a writer who isn't afraid to write. A creative person who isn't afraid to share her creativity. Who isn't afraid of the challenge. Who isn't afraid of failure. I want to be a person who works hard in all I do. Who serves hard in all I do. I want to be a dreamer who doesn't give up on her dreams. Who doesn't listen to the negativity around her that says she can't accomplish what God has given her to do.

I want to be an American who isn't the "American Stereotype." I want to be confident in who I am in Christ and not be afraid to be who I am, even if everyone else around me can't understand why I think the way I do, or put me into the box of easy classification. I want to stop being so completely hard on myself when I make a mistake. I want to stop listening to the lies of Satan. I want to fight for my freedom in Christ and hold on to his truth.

I want to be more than I am.