A declaration

I refuse to enable people to continuously mistreat me. I am a daughter of God, of woman of integrity, and I will not stand for it any longer. I will not settle. I will not be used for what I can offer nor for what is temporarily convenient. I also will not let someone elses jealousy and belittling cause me to pull back and feel worthless any longer. God has given me these gifts and abilities for his purpose and too long have I hidden behind the fear of how others view me. I don't need any more false friends and I don't want to be false either. In my attempt to be authentic and real, and through this journey that God has been taking me on, I am learning how much of myself to openly share, not that I won't keep trying to build deeper friendships, but that I would heed the warning signs early on. I will not open the depths of my soul to just anyone without there first being a commitment of trust.

For men, this means I will not be emotionally close in sharing all about my life and struggles, hopes and dreams, etc and vice-versa without some sort of commitment and relational depth. Realistically, friendship can only go so far between us...otherwise it will end in someone getting hurt. I am not the type of female to lead anyone on and I will also not be exploited in such a way. I am not an appetizer to be sampled while waiting for the main course. I refuse to play those kind of games. Either risk the possibility of a rejection or move on. I wish more women would understand their worth and understand that they deserve respect. Hold christian guys to a higher standard...

For women this means not going too deep in conversations without trust being in place first, regardless of the amount of time that we have known each other. Building trust may take years and years or it may take months. Either way, this is not an overnight thing. I have risked my heart on many occasions in the hope of authentic community, and have been pleasantly surprised and horribly mistreated. This does not mean that I will not share my heart with people, quite the opposite. Authentic relationships are well worth the vulnerability and disappointment along the way. But if you prove untrustworthy, I'm afraid acquaintance is as far as it will ever go and that saddens me to no end. In an authentic relationship, both people benefit and sharpen and encourage each other and I wish everyone could experience that.

I gotta be about God and what he's doing in my life. In this process of him healing me from old and new hurts, I am growing closer to him. As Fireflight says in their song, "For Those Who Wait",

"The pressure makes us stronger. The struggle makes us hunger. The hard lessons make the difference and the difference is what makes it worth it."

My faith is not a joke. My heart is not a toy. My gifts are not useless.
If this is intimidating to anyone, so be it. I choose God as my satisfyer. He is more than trustworthy. He is good.


And I am excited about what he is doing in my life.