Huh?

What do I want out of life? I don't know. Is that bad?

Maybe that's the wrong statement to begin with. Maybe I should say "Warning: this is a contemplative entry that may or may not make sense. But for those who feel like they're stuck, maybe it would be completely understandable.

What am I thinking about? What do I want?

I want God's thinking. And to do the things that will make him smile. Even laugh, y'know.

I want to see beauty.

I imagine sometime in my life being able to look out of my window and seeing snow capped mountains, a crystal clear lake, and a rolling green hillside. The day would begin, the freshest of the fresh, and I would just drink it all in.

I want to run out to the middle of nowhere at night with just God and the stars, and feel the cool grass between my toes, and be comfortable kneeling in the grass before the dome of the most-high. Maybe even lying flat on my back and just reflecting on God' s greatness and creativity and vastness.

It would be lovely to paint unashamedly without concern. Just paint and feel relaxed without the pressure of something being behind it. And just worship with it.

Or maybe it would be nice to go sip tea or picnic with a friend on a beach and watch the waves go in and out all day.

*sigh*

I don't know.

*sigh*

Pressure!

Starting to feel the pressure of things building up. It's overwhelming! And on the other hand I feel like I'm completely incapable to do anything.

Let's just say this week has been hard...

Happy September!

I can't believe it's September! One moment it was summer, the next it became fall (almost). I don't really mind. I had an amazing summer this time around. Last summer I was just kinda floating on a dream of going back to New Zealand but not knowing how, and dealing with some serious culture shock. This summer I've been so busy with activities, concerts, service projects, and family...it's been amazing.

So September...

What's in store this month? Well, I turn 26 in less than two weeks. Can't think of anything particularly special with that, except maybe more people will bug me about when I will get married. Not even dating, so, awhile. ;) Getting my relationship with God right and falling more in love with him.

What else? Growth Group begins on the 19th! I'll be a leader, and hopefully I don't say anything stupid to give my inadequacy away haha.

More? Mutemath concert at House of Blues on the 26th! Bought my tickets two months ago. Can't wait!

Hmm? Hopefully I find a job this month. 5 months without work is beginning to wear on the soul.

We'll see. Till next time.

P.S. I probably should mention that meeting the members of Red was amazing and I was so blessed by their music! They played all of my favorite songs from both albums! Loved it!