Sometimes I wonder, what's the point? I have all these desires and dreams and they just are so far away and so...unatainable it seems. I've been jobless for over 10 months now and I think about all the things that I want to do and think about how I can't do them until I get a job and that the job that I'll probably end up with is not going to lead me in the direction of my desires. How can you be encouraged in that? I know that things don't always turn out as we plan and that God has other things in mind. I understand that. But working a 9 to 5 office job just because it is the thing that American society says I should do...that will kill me. The corperate ladder. I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to be concerned about numbers and figures and money. I want to be about people. And helping them. And encouraging them through this hard thing known as life. And offering hope bigger than the status quo. I'm not against other people doing corperate jobs, because they are very much needed....it's just a desire in me to help people.
I don't want to be burned out but that's how I feel.
Oh God I feel so hopeless!
